God laid a tremendous passion on my heart to be His vessel to provide a ministry to women being released from incarceration.
August 2015 I said, “But I need a house where these women can live and allow You to change their lives!”
Off I went – a house was offered. I was elated. I named the ministry
“Esther House” after my first Bible study in 2009 – “Esther: It’s Tough Being a Woman” by Beth Moore
But then I said, “I’m not skilled – I’m not qualified to do all You need done!”
God said . . . “I got this!”
On December 21, 2015, an email appears from Christian University offering a certification course in Correctional Ministries with a specialty in Reentry through the Bill Graham Center, Wheaton College.
Off I go for two years – head’s down studying every nuance of reentry. I complete the course on November 26, 2017.
During this time, issue after issue arise with the house. Is God teaching me patience? Humility? How to suffer?
God sent a message through a friend one Monday night at Bible study. She said she always knows when it’s God’s will and not her will – when peace surrounds it.
I was in anything but peace. Then I realized, I never asked Him. I got swept up in the excitement. I dove in heart first.
Now I got down on my knees . . . “God . . . is this what You want?” No. This was not where God’s Esther House was going to be.
After much prayer and many tears . . . I had to say “Thank You” and walk away. This was not the Esther house. Esther became “homeless.”
In order to start again, first I had to put 100% of my faith in God . . . let His will be done. Let Him lead me and guide me.
God said . . . “I got this!”
Off I went – looking at house after house within the same town – only to be stonewalled at every turn. “Now what, God?” I asked.
God said . . . “I got this!”
In another town, one particular house kept drawing me back. “Is this the house, God?”
God said . . . “I got this!”
Closing date after closing date came and went five times. My frustration mounted.
God sent a message through a friend, “You may think the closing date has changed – but God has always known the date.”
So . . . I focused on my schooling and developing the program.
God said . . . “I got this!”
November 1, 2017 the title changed hands – now the “real work” was to begin. Who was going to help? Where was the money going to come from?
God said . . . “I got this!”
And that is how it has been all along. While I was praying for something to happen the way I wanted it / expected it to happen.
God said . . . “I got this!”
And His will was done.
I said, “I can’t do this alone!!!”
He told them, "The harvest is plentiful, but the workers are few. Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field." (Luke 10:2)
I prayed. I asked.
God said . . . “I got this!”
And He has been sending the volunteers to help develop the program, to provide the labor, to offer up the donations to assist in the costs.
Sometimes I get frustrated when I see how easy it would be for some very large groups to write a check that would only be a rounding error on their accounting books . . . but . . .
God said . . . “I got this!”
Jesus sat down near the collection box in the Temple and watched as the crowds dropped in their money. Many rich people put in large amounts. Then a poor widow came and dropped in two small coins. Jesus called His disciples to Him and said, “I tell you the truth, this poor widow has given more than all the others who are making contributions. For they gave a tiny part of their surplus, but she, poor as she is, has given everything she had to live on.” (Matthew 12:41-44)
Esther House has been blessed by many small donors - those who are giving from their everything - not their surplus. Maybe some day the large donors will also step up but in the meantime . . .
God said . . . "I got this!"
There have been good days and bad days. Days that I felt would never end and days that didn't contain enough hours for all the work needed to be done. But the day never ends without me witnessing God-moment-after-God-moment and feeling truly blessed that He has chosen me to be a tiny part of fulfilling His plan.
Throughout this experience I have never walked alone – He has been with me every step of the way. Each time my humanness took over . . .
God said . . . “I got this!”
The message here is simple. Put your faith and trust in the Lord. Give Him the reins – let Him lead – choose to follow Him - let His light shine on you. Sit back and watch Him work. It is an AMAZING view!!!
Praise God from Whom all blessings flow!!!
P.S. So . . . after I wrote this I left for the prison at 8:00 a.m. On the way I talked to God about this revelation and here's what He placed on my heart. Easily . . . He could have had any one of the large churches "write a check" but then who would I be thanking??? Would I be putting my thanks into their generosity? Instead He has been sending the nickels, dimes, quarters and individual donations. He has been saying . . . "Put your trust in ME - not in the mega churches. I AM the One touching the hearts. I AM the One you must trust. I GOT THIS!!!" Thank you Lord for once again humbling me - dropping me to my knees - to see You at work.