This morning I has a few minutes to read one of those books that I haven't had time to finish (yes - there are MANY of them and they are all over). This book is Spiritual Mentoring. I came across a story about Julian of Norwich. She was an anchoress – that meant she lived in her monastic cell (anchohold) and was restricted to that one room. She would spend most days alone in prayer and work. As a young woman, she prayed that God would give her a deeper, more profound sense of the passion of Jesus. When she was thirty years old He answered her prayer – she lay deathly ill when she was confronted with a vision of Jesus who spoke with her over a period of a day and a half. She dates the revelations May 13, 1373 in the presence of her mother and parish priest.
Margery Kempe, the English mystic had frequent visits with Julian for spiritual mentoring. Her writings provide the meager biographical information regarding Julian. The anchorholds were cells connected to a church sanctuary – each cell had 2 windows – one window faced inward to the sanctuary and the other faced outward in the direction of the world outside the church. While Julian was committed to the development of the inner life in her anchorhold, through the outer window she was open to the world. As she developed her own soul, she kept her window open to the world. What a beautiful picture of the inner life of prayer, meditation and devotion that is placed alongside the outer world of teaching, serving and loving others. Within her cell she kept her inner window open to interior life of worship and prayer and through the outer window she developed a ministry of spiritual guidance and discernment for those who sought her out for pastoral wisdom, for which she was renowned in the fourteenth century.
As I first started reading about Julian I had a much different view into my desire to “just hide away” and began to see that God never wants me to “just hide away.” Like you, I am part of His bigger plan. It’s not all about me. We need to ask about our own windows of ministry to the larger world. How are we nourished, equipped ad empowered by the inner life of prayer, meditation and devotion, and what windows has God opened for ministry and service to others? If we live in cells with walls and no windows to the rest of the world, how faithful can we be to a God who loves us in order to give expression to our voice in society? What I have learned about myself – when I want to be alone to just hide away it is usually because something has happened to hurt me and I want to go off and wallow. It is during this time that He wants to use me to touch the lives of others. I can do that if instead of wallowing, I use that time to pray, meditate and devote my time to Him so that I deepen my faith then share Him with others.